Based on Happily Whenever After by Bookie Adekanye

Let’s be honest, being a single woman isn’t easy. Society makes you feel like a second-class citizen. Everyone expects you to get married to the nearest halfway-decent single guy. Loneliness sets in, making it a challenge to stay hopeful. The wait for a husband drags on, with no end in sight. It can even seem like God has forgotten about you.

As a single woman in her 40s, Bookie Adekanye relates. In her recent book “Happily Whenever After,” she shares her struggles to keep trusting in God when dreams of marriage seem far away.

Though being single is a difficult calling, Bookie wants to reminds you of God’s overwhelming love. Even though society may not know how to categorize you, God says you belong to him, and he has a place for you in this plan.

Wait… God can use single women in his plan? Well, he’s been doing it since biblical times, and he’s not about to stop now! God used the daughters of Zelophehad to help establish the Mosaic Law. God used Rahab to save the Israelite spies and eventually become an ancestor of Jesus. The Samaritan woman proclaimed Jesus’s salvation to her entire village. Mary’s humble response to God led to the birth of Jesus himself.

God even gave Ruth—the poster child for female singleness—a key role to play in his design. She didn’t just sit around and wait for her Boaz, but worked hard to serve God and support her aging mother-in-law. Ruth’s efforts were successful, and God made her into one of Jesus’s most prominent ancestors. Ruth even became the first woman to have a book of the Bible named after her.

As Bookie observes, “I find a common thread in all of these stories: these women, each of them single, were all a part of God’s grand design to bring salvation to their families, communities, nation, and the world at large … It could be, then, God’s purpose for us as single ladies is to bring salvation and deliverance to our different spheres of influence.”

Let there be no doubt—God has a plan for single women. And yes, that means you too! You can use even your singleness to shine God’s light. But how?

For starters, you can serve through your ordinary life. The Bible reminds us to “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24, NLT).

Even the everyday work you do can be done for God. You don’t need to wait until you’ve become the perfect Christian (or until a husband comes along)—you can serve God right where you’re at!

But how can you discern God’s specific plan for your life? Well, God doesn’t tell us all the details. But we do have some clues. God has given each of us different skills, talents, and abilities—things that we’re good at in a unique way. Our God doesn’t plant to no purpose. If you’re uniquely gifted in something, you can bet that there’s a way to use it to build up God’s kingdom!

It can also be helpful to identify your desires. Of course, not all of our desires are from God, but if there’s something we’re particularly passionate about, it may be worth listening to. God wants serving him to be a delight, not drudgery—if we have a strong desire to serve, so much the better! Asking other wise Christians for insight and advice can help point you in the right direction.

Finally, what do you have specific experience in? If you think your life has been preparing you to serve in a specific area, you may be right! Bookie remarks that “To equip us for our purpose, God allows us to go down certain paths, which often become our greatest source of passion and compassion.”

Above all else, you should not wait to start serving God until the situation is perfect. Whether you find a husband or not, where you are right now is a part of God’s plan for your life. As his valued daughter, you have been given great potential to dedicate yourself to God.

As you serve God in both mundane and dramatic ways, you can be confident that—as a single woman—your life has an important place in God’s perfect plan.

Are you a single woman? Do you trust in God and His plan for you? Don’t be discouraged! You are valued. You can be confident that—as a single woman—your life has an important place in God’s perfect plan.

Get your copy of Happily Whenever After on Amazon or from Oasis International Distribution partners in Africa.

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